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Stress Management Blog

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide to Stress Management since 2005

Happy Marriage Toolkit

Friday July 24, 2009

There's been a lot of press about marriage lately--who's happy in their marriage, who's recently split and dating after mere days, who's not happy but going through the motions. Wouldn't it be nice if marriage were easier?

One of the problems that I see with people is that they don't know how to communicate their feelings in a way that is easy for the other person to hear, or aren't sure how to get everyone's needs met without someone feeling slighted, or are so stressed and busy that they're having trouble finding any spare time to spend together, let alone keeping the passion alive. With financial stress rising for many, many relationships are feeling even more pressure.

If you're feeling this way, taking steps--even baby steps!--toward paring down schedules and finding more time, learning positive communication strategies, and developing stress management strategies that work (so stress isn't taken out on one's partner) can really impact a marriage in a good way.

The following resources can help in your quest for a happy marriage or healthy relationship. If you have other suggestions, leave them in this Reader Response article on happy marriage. If you want to discuss relationship issues, leave your thoughts in the comments section.

Happy Marriage Resources:

• Common Marriage Problems and Solutions
  Money? Daily stress? Kids? Learn the top stressors for couples, and how to manage them!

• How To Stop Fighting About Money
  Don't let economic woes lead to marital woes! Here's how to stop.

• How To Have a Happy Marriage
  Learn about some new research on happy marriages, and find tips to make yours one of those!

• Communication Skills
  Here are some tips that can be used to keep communication happy and healthy in romantic relationships. Many apply to friends, co-workers and telemarketers as well!

• Happy Marriage Tips
  Other readers share their best--and you can, too! Stop by and swap relationship tips.

_{Like this post? Want to use it to start a discussion with your friends? Pass it on!}

Scream Free

Don;t know how many of you parents out there find yourself getting excited for the family vacation just to feel like you want to pull your hair out half way through the trip!
Check out this great resource from the Scream Free folks. We will be doing their parenting classes at our place this fall! They are awesome. Just a tip from the local married mom!
http://www.screamfree.com/sfsc/product.php?productid=8&cat=0&page=?newsletterSidebar

Tips for Heatlhy Marriage

1. Affirm your mate with an unexpected compliment. 2. Ask how you might be of service today 3. Make an appointment to do something fun together. 4. Write a love note and leave it on their pillow WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT MARRIAGE? 1. Healthy marriage increases stability of children and adults 2. Healthy marriage increases wealth formation and development 3. Healthy marriage increase adults and child well being For more info and research go to : http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/benefits I got this in today and thought it was good information. Check it out!

Famillies Are Alive and Well, In Florida

If anyone has been a pessimist towards the present state of American families, then I think that a short visit to Disney World will change that. I have spent the last week (while on vacation) viewing families of all colors and creed celebrate love, life and each other. If you think the world is going to hell-in-a-hand-basket then you have not been to the Magic Kingdom lately. I have not only enjoyed the amazing wonderment that is everything Disney, but I have enjoyed more the parents who are thoroughly committed to sharing time with their kids, siblings who are sharing a magical experience and to couples who are falling in love under a starry, firework covered sky.
All this it say that in our industry (as healthy-marriage educators) it can get pretty bleak because we hear about the families that don't make it and the couples who throw in the towel. Well it's good to know that some are at least trying to share and make a memory together. Maybe if we all treated every day like we were at Disney World, or at least on vacation, with our families, we'd do a little better! That is the lesson I am taking home with me from this trip~ we'll that and some paraphernalia that has mouse ears all over it!

On the Mouse Ears Note: Some of the employees here are still "earning their ears" and that means that they are working to learn the ropes of their jobs. Try thinking of things that way next time you get frustrated with your spouse. Maybe they are in an "earning their ears" place and they just need some mercy and grace! You could apply the same thinking when working with your kids too!