Listen, Don't Just Hear

The odd reality of our ears is that often we only hear what we are listening for. If we are expecting our spouse to be mean-spirited, hurtful, or disrespectful when they speak, then that is what we are most likely to hear, regardless of intent. Try giving your spouse the "benefit of the doubt." One thing we try to promote is active listening. Listen to what is being said to you, then turn it around by starting, "What I heard you say was..." and explain what you heard. Is it accurate to what the speaker was trying to convey? Or has it been convoluted like that old game of telephone when it was filtered through the negative obstacles in our minds?

More often than not, we hear something different than what the speaker was saying. We twist things around so that they match the preconceptions we have in our minds. Try to have an active conversation with someone and make sure you both truly understand what is being said.

And by the way, the same thing can be said about our eyes.

-The Guy